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When you open your heart

Some thoughts on vulnerability & love

When we meet somebody close, who feels close, who has access to our hearts, we start to open. Slowly. He or she peels off the extra layers of our skin, which we created for self-protection. We begin to feel vulnerable, innocent. 

This is beautiful and scary at the same time.

We want it, and we are scared of it. We are scared mostly of being hurt again. As that's the way, we see the past relationship. We tend to remember the painful endings instead of the great moments. This way, it was easier to let go of someone.

When we meet someone new, it may be lighter, softer, and we won't be hurt again. The concept of 'hurt' comes from past experience, but we still believe it too often. Past exists only in our minds as a story we tell ourselves. Our brain doesn't recognize a difference between the story in your head and the story happening right now.

That's why it is so important to live in a presence. To let go of the past. To let go of the previous day. To live and be here and now.

Living with an open heart brings so much joy and happiness. When people with open hearts meet, they will immediately feel it. They will start to open their hearts, heart to heart. I believe our hearts communicate with each other. They adjust to each vibration; either it is fear-based, or it is joy-based. The second is still rarely seen, felt.

Can you actually be hurt?

Some people will say that it's easier to be hurt when you have your heart open. Let think about it closer. Let explore this concept deeper.


  1. It is your space, and you decide about being hurt or not. Yes, you. You may say: STOP! It is not ok for me what you said or did that. It is our job to set borders. You can do it while having the heart open. How?
  2. The moment you feel somebody crosses your line: SAY IT! Say: When you do x,y,z or say x,y,z - I don't like it. Express your borders out loud. Do not let someone turn it around and say: you are too sensitive or you are overreacting. Don't fight with the opinion. Let them have it. What's more critical, have yours. 
  3. If the person is not respecting your borders, allow yourself to take some space and time for yourself. Still, don't close your heart. Be there - vulnerable - but for yourself, for as long as you need. The clarity will come. Time helps. Taking some space helps. 
  4. If you feel you did overreact - all good, and you can explain it via honest conversation. If you think someone crossed the borders, remember they might be learning from you as well. You will feel positive progress in understanding each other or fighting after fighting, crossing the borders way too much. There might be a moment you say enough.
  5. Practice being in balance with yourself. Everyday. When you are in harmony on an emotional level and physical level, you have more clarity. It is harder to push you out of your center. How? Read, run, exercise, take a bath, meditate, cook, dance, you name it!
  6. Find your way of coming back to balance quickly after being 'shaken' by someone. This is a level advanced to this game! The faster you get back to your core, to your center, the quicker clarity will come to you. 

Your soul, your spirit - they want to experience life itself, with all ups and downs, with all emotions and experiences. Opening your heart again can be scary. Love can be scary. It opens us up. 

Good love will be more soothing than hurting. The touch will be warm, not cold. There will be a sense of balance flow, not fight.

You will feel it. You will know it. Remember that being vulnerable and having an open heart brings joy and beauty. Especially if you do it around the right people (right for you and for your growth).

with love,

Ula Banasik

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